


Bullet

by WastingTime_KickingAss



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: M/M, Trigger Warning - Major Traumatic Experience, Trigger Warning - Suicidal Thoughts/Tendencies, joshler - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-23
Updated: 2015-10-23
Packaged: 2018-04-27 18:46:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5059897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WastingTime_KickingAss/pseuds/WastingTime_KickingAss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyler's thoughts are getting bad again. Josh tries too hard, and Tyler ends up in the hospital. There may or may not be actual romantic relations in this story depending on where it goes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bullet

Tyler stared at the red light on his bedside table, just as he had been for the past few hours. Three in the morning was not an unusual time for him to be awake. His gaze drifted along the small tabletop and took in the familiar sight of his contact case, a few pens, and an orange bottle that had been empty for several days. It’s not that he meant to go this long without his meds, he just hadn’t had the time to get it filled and he didn’t want to ask Josh to do it because he was just as busy. He could always ask his mom, but he didn’t want to bother her.  
  
It’s not that he was ashamed of his illness; that wasn’t it at all. It just seemed to make people uncomfortable and he didn’t like the look of pity in their eyes when he told them what they were for, so he just kept it to himself as much as possible. It made an uncomfortable flutter in his stomach to know that they think him weaker than the normal person, so he turns a blind eye and drops the subject.  
  
A small smile graced his lips, yet his eyes remained empty as he remembered the first time Josh had found out about his depression.  
  
_The TV was playing some rerun of Doctor Who that Tyler didn’t really care about as he sat on the soft leather sofa with his hands glued to his phone. His knees were pulled up and resting against the back of the couch making his sweats bunch up at the joint while his head was leaning on the armrest. His neck was starting to hurt but he was too comfortable to move. His eyes glanced up when he heard his bandmate walk into the room._  
  
_Josh, donning just a towel slung low around his hips, walked with a leisurely pace. His brows were furrowed into a sharp crease above his nose and his lips were pressed together in slight confusion and concern. He didn’t look up from the bottle held in both of his hands as he approached Tyler and sat down on the other side of the couch._  
  
_Tyler pulled his feet back a little bit, feeling the ever familiar drop of his heart, leaving his chest feeling oddly empty as he eyed the little bottle of round, white pills that were held so carefully, so gingerly in his friend’s palms. He took a deep, quiet breath and prepared himself for the questions: “Why didn’t you tell me?” “Are you okay?” “Can I help?” It bothered Tyler to see such a serious expression on his friend who was usually all stupid jokes and carefree grins. He waited for Josh to gather up the courage to breach the subject._  
  
_“You…” Josh took big breath before continuing. “You’re not, like, dying or anything, right?”_  
  
_Tyler blinked slowly once, then twice, as he absorbed Josh’s words. It took a moment to process, but once it did, he let out a small giggle which then turned into a miniature laughing fit. He opened his eyes after a minute, peeking under the arm that he had thrown over his face. Josh’s cheeks had been tinted red and his shoulders were relaxed against the back of the couch, obviously a little embarrassed that he had said that._  
  
_Tyler let out one last chuckle before sitting up and crossing his legs so that he was facing Josh, throwing his phone onto the carpet in the process. He shook his head a little and said, “No, J. I’m not dying.”_  
  
_“Oh. Sorry,” the corner of Josh’s lips twitched up into a half smile. “You wanna tell me what these are for?”_  
  
_“They’re my depression meds,” Tyler stated, shrugging. He had decided it would be easier to say it outright than to tiptoe around the topic._  
  
_“Oh okay,” Josh held out his hand with the bottle in it, palm facing toward the ceiling._  
  
_Tyler watched the small cylinder roll a little bit before lifting his hand from where it had been resting on his thigh and closing his fingers around the familiar object. He withdrew his arm and looked over to Josh’s face, prepared to see him fidgeting in discomfort or gazing down on Tyler like he was a sick, injured puppy, but instead he was met with the same happy gaze as he always was. There was nothing off about Josh’s expression to show any judgement whatsoever._  
  
_Tyler cleared his throat, “You’re not gonna ask me why I didn’t tell you or ask me if I’m, like, okay or anything?”_  
  
_“Well, it’s your business. I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t anything like cancer or something. And obviously you have your ups and downs, but you usually tell me when something’s wrong, so I’m not worried about it,” Josh smiled and lifted a shoulder before dropping it._  
  
It was the first time someone hadn’t looked at him differently. Obviously Josh wouldn’t have been surprised, he was the first one to see the fucked up lyrics scribbled on a piece of paper that Tyler had brought him, but hearing it confirmed usually set something awry in people.  
  
Tyler inhaled deeply, trying to rid of the dull ache of hollowness in his chest as the red numbers switched to 3:32. He let out a long sigh and rolled up so that he was sitting on the edge of his bed, hands braced on the mattress and head tilted down so that he was left gazing at his white ankle socks and blue checkered boxers. He paused for a moment, not moving a single muscle, then pushed himself into a standing position. His arms wrapped themselves around his bare torso, goosebumps starting to blossom on the skin. It was quiet except for the sound of his feet against the carpet in the house. As he neared Josh’s bedroom door he could hear the light snores coming and going like a tide. The door squeaked a tiny bit as he pushed it open, stepping inside and gently closing it again. He took a few steps toward the red-haired mass that was drooling on the pillow and tangled up in the sheets and reached out his hand to shake his shoulder.  
  
“Josh. Josh wake up,” Tyler’s whisper sounded louder than a scream in the still silence of the dark.  
  
The drummer let out a small mumble that generally resembled “what”.  
  
“Can I sleep in here with you? It’s cold in my room,” a shudder ran through Tyler’s shoulders as he said this, proving his point.  
  
Josh nodded, just a tiny movement of his head, “Mhmm.” His sleep voice was deeper than normal, Tyler noted that mentally.  
  
Tyler shuffled over to the other side of the bed and slid under the soft covers, careful to leave Josh plenty so that he wouldn’t complain. The bed dipped next to him and suddenly there was a warm body pressed against his side. Josh’s arm found it’s way over his stomach and his leg hooked around Tyler’s thigh. They both settled into the comfortable warmth and Josh’s breathing slowed down and his snores began again.  
  
It took a while, but eventually all of Tyler’s goosebumps were gone and he stopped shuddering. His mind was finally shutting up and he closed his eyes, face pressed into Josh’s mess of hair, breathing in deeply as he could feel himself really relax for the first time in a few weeks. He drifted off to sleep, and though the nightmares were still there, he could wake up from them without having a panic attack. Josh just kinda calmed him down without even knowing he was doing it.  



End file.
